set down for all who file
The Ordinances of the Office
The Office of Letters Patent was founded on a simple conviction: every device matters, and every work is a device for something no one has thought of yet.
I. Of the claim
A creator submits a work. You file a claim saying what it is a device for, and which part of it does the job:
A device for what it does, wherein the part of the work that does it.
Point at the part on Fig. 1 as you write. One granted claim per filer per work; refile as often as you like until then.
II. Of examination
The Examiner reads every claim against three tests, in the order the Republic set them down in 1474:
- Utility. The device must do some good, for someone or something. Irony, backhanded praise and jokes at the work’s expense are returned, however clever.
- Written description. The “wherein” must point at something actually in the work.
- Novelty. The Office prepares the predictable readings before anyone files. A claim equal to one of them is prior art.
A returned claim costs nothing but the moment spent on it. The Office explains, in one line, where to look next. Once per work you may appeal to the Senior Examiner.
III. Of rarity
Equivalent claims form a family. The fewer filers in your family, the rarer your device. Speed earns nothing: the clock only decides whether you file at all.
| Obvious to One Skilled in the Art | Everyone's clever second thought: a crowded family of devices. | 5 |
| Granted | A real, uncommon reading. | 15 |
| Ingenious | Few filers anywhere near it. | 40 |
| Marvel of the Republic | Alone in its family. The Office did not know the work could do this. | 100 |
Every distinct reading widens the room’s register, so standing out helps everyone: each work is scored by how many distinct devices it was found to be.
IV. Of commendation
After filing, you may commend up to 3 devices that delighted you. A commendation on a rare device is worth more to its filer than one on a common device, so delight never rewards the herd.
V. Of the seal
The creator has the last word. They choose one reading for the red wax seal (worth 150 to its filer), and it leads their Letters Patent: the work as Fig. 1, surrounded by the best things strangers saw in it. Creators may strike any granted claim from their hearing; struck claims never score.
VI. What the Office is not
Not a critique: the Office never grades a work or suggests improvements. Not a roast. Not a portfolio or a social network. The Office never makes or alters art; the Examiner only reads and names. And these are not real patents: nothing here implies any legal protection for submitted work.